Knowing Who Your True Friends Are: An Uplifting Midweek Reminder


Hello again lovelies :) 

I hope my last 'Uplifting Midweek' post made you realise the affects society can have on us and by ignoring it we can lead much happier lives and start to become happier in ourselves. I know that sometimes all I need is a reminder or a little pick-me-up especially when I'm feeling down and I hope I was able to do that for you.

Today I want to share with you a topic that can be another reason for one's unhappiness and I feel it needs to be discussed. 
Friends are ones you can rely on, they're always there for you when you're feeling down, making you laugh, basically another enjoyment in your life. Or so they should be.

For me, school was one of the hardest stages of my life I had to go through. Although some say your years at school are some of the best years of your life. However if you were like me, and suffered from bullying, this may not be the case. Luckily an unexpected happier place was waiting for me round the corner which is university.

The problems with bullying most of the time is that the students(or adults even) haven't fully matured yet. But instead of the bully taking their personal problems into their own hands and dealing with them, they take those with better lives than them and make their life hell. 

What some people don't realise is that the person who is doing this to you could be who you thought was your friend. However, because they brainwash you with 'we're just looking out for you', the victim is oblivious to the situation. Only once you mature is when you look back at the situation and realise what you should've realised back then. But because we're innocent and haven't done anything wrong, we don't see why they would have a motive in order to put us down.
Comments such as 'why are you putting on makeup? You're not going anywhere' for example. This is a clear sign of jealousy but like I said before, because they have brainwashed you into thinking they're your friends, the 'advice' they give you is surely only to help you, right? In relation to bullying, this is only snide. The only way to make them feel better about theirselves is by getting back at you, therefore making silly remarks about things they know make you happy. 

This is a different form of bullying here and still joins in with what I said at the beginning; They take those with a better life than them and make their life hell. Your 'friends' are only using you for what you have because your life is so much better than theirs. They also now know that because you're fully convinced they're your friend, you will want to share what you have with them so you can enjoy it with somebody else. Or in your mindset, your very best friend/s. This is wrong. If they were a true friend they would, instead of being jealous, enjoy your luxuries that they don't have but not let it get in the way of your friendship.

Another well known way of getting back at someone out of jealousy is by excluding them from events where everyone else is invited except you. In doing this they know it will upset you and no doubt hundreds of thoughts will be flooding through your mind such as 'what have I done wrong? I thought we were friends'. You haven't done anything wrong and I think this is what people need to realise. They want us to think 'if we're not invited we must've been a bad friend to them'. Instead of standing up to the person and letting them be aware of how hurt we felt at the time, we keep our mouths shut, feeling as though we've done something wrong and promising to be better friend to them by sharing even more of our luxuries with them which is exactly what they want. They want you wrapped round their little finger.
However if you were to do the same to them, they wouldn't let you forget it.

If we refer back to the image I placed at the beginning, in which this post is basically based around, this is difficult to stand by especially when school is somewhere you have to be everyday. That could be another reason for the mistreatment you get from your 'friend/s' as they know you wouldn't leave them due to you basically letting them in on your life, giving them a chance to use your luxuries and probably told them your secrets. You've basically opened up to the person and for some, this is a hard thing to do. At school however, as this is part of our everyday lives, many of us learn to 'put up' with this due to wanting to be friends with as many people we can to ensure we have someone to talk to and at this age, popularity is everyythiingggg. Only once we leave school is when we know who our true friends are. I guarantee your so called 'friend/s' will still be at least keeping in contact with you strangely enough. This adds another reason to our list of why we believe they are our true friend/s as they must care about us to want to keep in contact right? This is bullying gone too far. If they have had fun so far by putting you down, why would they want to end it? After all if it makes their life happier than it was before they met you, they'd want to keep doing it! At least this gives you a chance to feel special in some way - you're so amazing that you've made someone's life better by being in it ;) although not in the beeest way unfortunately.. But you're still special <3
In their mind, as long as you're miserable they've succeeded by sucking the happiness out of you for themselves. They can enjoy your relationship commitment knowing your luxuries are one text message away at any time they need you but unfortunately this allows them to drop you whenever they feel like it. And that my dear readers, is the definition of a bitch - excuse my rudeness :)

I'd just like to remind you of how much stronger you are compared to the bullies which I know can be difficult to realise when your thoughts are too busy focused on feeling hurt. This distracts you from realising how much better you are. What we forget is;
1. How strong we are for simply coping with someone who is pretending to be our friend just to bully you more - ever stopped and thought about that? I hope you do now.
2. Not sinking to their level - if you haven't treated them the same way you should feel proud! Let me remind you of how good a person this makes you, no matter how much they've hurt you you've managed to stick by their side and because they'll never let you know how lucky they are to have you then allow me. However you do deserve soooo much better! 
3. Nobody deserves to be treated this way - don't 'put up' with them because you might aswell, 'au revoir bitch!' Sooner rather than later! However if the reason for putting up with them is because they're your only friend/s then before you do this perhaps try to make friends with others, and may I make a suggestion - someone nicer :)
Therefore you no longer need your fake friend because you're leaving him/her for someone better!

I hope this has uplifted your spirits a little😊

Until next time sweetie

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Thank you for reading my blog, let me know what you thought if you would like to. I will reply as soon as I can :)
- Mel